Just because I write about sex, doesn't mean I'm a sicko.
Just because I enjoy sex doesn't mean I'm a pervert.
Just because I'm a woman, doesn't mean my opinion doesn't matter.
And just because I enjoy and produce smut, doesn't mean that I'm not a good person. It just means I'm honest about my sexuality and am doing what I love for a living.
I'm venting because there is a discussion happening in the comments of J.A. Konrath's blog about the PayPal censorship issue, which seems to be devolving into an "erotica authors are bad people" and "most people find what they write about vile" debate.
Here's the comment that set me off:
"I also find so much irony in righteous indignation from unrighteousness. It makes me smile."
My response:
"Why do you say we're unrighteous :)?
Personally, I believe in God and Christian living, but I also enjoy sex and reading about sex.
Does that make me unrighteous or my opinion laughable?"
I believe in God and try to always do unto others as I would have them do unto me. But now I'm a bad person whose opinion is "ironic" because of what I choose to write.
There are other comments that are taking a distinctly misogynistic slant, bashing fantasies while women have held dear in romance novels for decades, such as "dubious consent" fantasies ("Oh, no, Mr. Pirate King, so not rip my bodice!!") and calling their male lovers "daddy."
I'm angry, and you know what I'm going to do about it?
WRITE MORE.
A blog for lovers of smoking hot alpha males and sizzling love stories!
If God didn't want us to have sex, He wouldn't have given us hoo-has and doodads.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, it's depressing that people in the 21st century still believe that enjoying sex is something to be ashamed of. And yes, it's usually a double standard -- men who want sex are normal and healthy, women who want sex are sluts.
What some people want or even what most people want shouldn't enter into a debate about censorship. The government protects speech for a reason. You either believe in censorship or you don't. Once it begins, it marches ever onward. The fact that so many of these people (other writers!) believe that THIS censorship is perfectly okay, and that it'll stop exactly where they want it to, just boggles my mind. It's naive.
Authors who cheer on this attack on the written word are the ones who should be ashamed.
Well said, Kali, especially about the censorship issues.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right: Women are either sluts or prudes and are shamed either way. It keeps us in a constant state of fear, which helps repress us.
When we're seen as the shameful "other," then our opinions and needs and wants don't matter.
I was watching Laura Berman on Oprah once, and she was talking about Masturbating, and how it was healthy, and my mom came in the room and starting ranting how disgusting it was and tried to change it.
ReplyDeleteI was like Um, I'm watching that! And mom, I masturbate twice a day! (This was before I was married lol)
I thought she was going to fall over and die lol. So yes, people STILL act like sex is taboo! It makes me laugh and cry.
And I came up with TWO new totally smutty series just because of this paypal crap!
- BB